Can I ask you something? How many of us say we’re all in with Jesus, but some days, it feels more like we’re just checking the boxes and longing for moving from ritual to real faith? I get it. I’ve been there too, friend. And if you’re like me, you’ve wondered what it truly means to lay down your cross right here, right now—in the middle of school mornings, busy jobs, messy kitchens, and everyday life.
In our recent podcast episode, I sat at my desk fighting every distraction. My internet was spotty, my words just wouldn’t come, but my heart was on fire because I knew how much we needed this conversation. Today isn’t about knowing the right answers. It’s about how to surrender to God, with all that leftover stress and those day-to-day habits you wish you could change, especially learning how to obey God when it’s hard. Let’s put our real lives on the table together and talk truth.
What Does "Laying Down Your Cross" Mean for Modern Christian Women?
Here’s the thing. Laying down your cross doesn’t mean losing who you are or giving up on the things you love. It’s about learning how to surrender to God and letting go of anything standing between you and Him. Sometimes that’s my pride. Sometimes it’s my self-reliance. Maybe for you, it’s letting go of comparison, old wounds, or habits you keep hidden.
We all carry something different. It could be how you talk about others when you’re tired, or the way you cope with a long, hard week. It’s not about being perfect, especially if God is inviting you into healing from spiritual perfectionism. It’s choosing, moment by moment, to trust God more with those places where we struggle, even when it feels uncomfortable—especially trusting God through waiting.
- Letting go of old grudges
- Changing the way we talk to ourselves
- Stepping back from habits that steal our peace
- Saying no to things that pull us away from God’s voice and learning the practice of hearing God’s voice daily.
Surrender doesn’t have to look dramatic; often it’s formed through simple spiritual self care habits in hard seasons. Sometimes it’s telling God, "This is hard, but I want your way more than my way."
Why Is It So Hard to Surrender to God in Everyday Life?
Let me tell you, surrender isn’t natural. Our hearts pull toward comfort, control, and what feels safe. I remember mornings when I’ve sat in my quiet time thinking I was giving everything to God, only to realize by lunchtime, I’d picked it all back up again.
How to surrender to God is a real daily process, often requiring spiritual rebuilding after setbacks. It means saying, “Lord, here is my anxiety about that meeting,” or, “Father, I keep comparing myself to her—help me trust your voice instead,” while learning a Christian approach to anxiety. Sometimes surrender looks like walking away from gossip, even if it feels awkward. Other times, it’s forgiving someone when your heart still feels raw—learning the process of forgiving when it feels impossible.
God never asks us to surrender alone. Jesus promised His presence, even when it gets hard, reminding us that finding God in hard times is possible. That’s why, when I read Matthew 16:25, it hits home: “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will find it” (CSB). Surrender isn’t about losing. It’s about finding true life—real purpose—when we give Jesus our “yes.”
What Keeps Us from Surrender?
- Fear of losing our identity or goals
- Wanting control over our plans
- Worrying what others will think
- Not wanting to let go of comfortable habits
Can I speak right here? Surrender is never about shame. It’s about freedom. When we lay down our cross, we’re not lowering our standards or backing away from what matters. We’re stepping into who God made us to be.
Practical Ways to Live Out Surrender as a Modern Christian Woman
Sometimes surrender sounds big and far away. But how to surrender to God is often found in the smallest yes. Saying a quick prayer before that hard conversation. Opening your Bible, even when you’re tired. Choosing to bless someone who’s been unkind.
Let’s break it down together. Here are some ways I’ve learned to practice surrender, even when it feels challenging:
- Start your day by giving God your plans and your worries (just say it out loud—He’s listening)
- When old habits creep in, pause and ask, “God, what do you want right now?”
- Forgive quickly—even if you have to ask God to help you mean it
- Trust Him with your children, marriage, friendships, and future (you’re not alone in this)
- Read Scripture like a letter from a close friend, not just a task to finish
One thing I love sharing is that surrender isn’t a one-time decision. It’s daily, sometimes hourly. Some days I get to the end of the day and realize I’ve held on tight to my plans, but God just invites me to try again tomorrow. His mercies are new every morning, friend.
Building a Heart of Surrender in Real Life
You don’t need a perfect system. You just start by saying, “God, I want your ways more than my ways.” Keep it simple and honest. Ask Him to show you where you’re holding back. Trust me, He is gentle. He already knows.
If you’re not sure where to begin, try this with me. Sit quietly and say, “Lord, what do you want me to lay down today?” Just listen. More often than not, He answers in that still, small way He does. And if it feels hard, that’s normal. He will help you do what He is asking.
How Surrender Changes Our Daily Walk with God
When you make the choice to surrender to God, your day starts to look different. You see His hand in the little things. You feel more peace, even when life stays busy. I’ve noticed, on days when I actually pause and hand God my worries, I don’t snap at my kids so quickly. My heart feels lighter. My relationships feel more honest. And somehow, the ordinary moments start to feel sacred.
This is what happens when we lay down our cross. God gives us more of Himself. He shapes our desires to match His. We start loving what He loves, and letting go of those things that pull us away from Him. Instead of feeling the pressure to be everything to everyone, we start to live in freedom.
The Role of Community When We Surrender
We’re not meant to do this alone. When I say laying down your cross, that includes letting safe friends in on the journey. Let them encourage you, pray for you, and share their own stories. None of us has it all together, and that’s okay. If you listened to this week’s podcast, you heard me say it’s not just about reading or hearing—it’s about sharing life and practice.
Maybe you want someone to walk this with you. Reach out. Message a friend. Join our podcast community or comment on this post. We need each other as we learn how to surrender to God in new, honest ways.
Encouragement for Every Step of Surrender
You don’t need to pretend for God. He wants you—right now, in all your mess and questions. He’s not asking for perfection, just a willing heart. Lay down your cross by giving Him your yes, even when you’re unsure what comes next. You’ll never regret letting God lead. I can promise you that.
And friend, if you’re ready to take that next step, pray. Start with, "Jesus, I want to know you, not just know about you. Show me today how to surrender to God in my real life." Simple. Honest. He’s listening.
If you missed the podcast episode, go back and listen. I share more of my story and what God taught me when I finally stopped clinging so tightly. The freedom you’re craving? It starts with laying it down and letting Him carry it.
I’m cheering you on every step of the way. Let’s keep practicing surrender—one real, honest, hopeful day at a time.
